It’s no secret that I’ve undergone a huge amount of self-development over the last few years. From wild nights out to sexual liberation and moving halfway up the country (finally away from the South where God forbid you should smile at a stranger or expect to have a door held open for you), I've freed myself in many ways. Perhaps most notably from my own mind, the judgement and pressures I too often place on myself. I think the last 18 months in particular have been a complete rollercoaster; I’ve had the highest of highs and some of the lowest of lows. It’s felt like a true period of self-discovery, seeking and searching. But for what?
Being in a serious long-term relationship from a young age, combined with the fact I left uni after less than a year (still one of the best decisions I’ve made to this day, in case you were wondering what my stance was on that) meant that I actually missed out on a hell of a lot of as a developing adolescent. I was nerdy as hell at college, studying all hours of the day and night and then working at the weekends which meant that quite frankly, I had almost no social life. I would socialise in my free periods and that was it. I had been craving an outlet to channel my creativity into, something completely separate from my studies, anything to give me that sweet release away from deadlines. So I started a blog to vent my thoughts, to share images and to connect with other like-minded people. Funnily enough, I met some of my closest friends on the Internet.
Then uni came around and truth be told, I wasn’t anywhere near as excited about that “new life” as a lot of potential students are. I’d been blogging pretty much full-time the previous Summer and as silly as it sounds, that’s where my passions lay (and very much still do). Did I really want to go to uni and give it all up? It was a hard decision to make but I knew in my heart I’d regret not going. So I went. I moved into a house in York with nine other weird and wonderful students, three of whom are in my closest circle today and some of whom I am very grateful to never have to see again (I lived with a homophobe who refused to eat anything other than pie and chips, there were some trying times). It was a whirlwind of nights out and adventures combined with days of being unable to get out of bed because I was so unhappy and felt like a failure. To the outside world, I was pursuing a degree and therefore I was on the “right path” but on the inside, turning up to lectures where I zoned out and lacked motivation to complete the work was exhausting. For those of you that don’t know, I went to study Psychology; something I am hugely passionate about even to this day (one day you’ll find me in a prison grilling criminals about their thought patterns and behaviour I swear) but the course was nothing like A Level. It was a huge disappointment. So I left.
I dabbled in a few PR internships when I returned home but within a few months, my blog had been re-established and I was earning enough of an income not to need them. So I decided to pursue blogging full-time – and that’s what I’ve been doing ever since. I ask myself frequently if it’s enough - stimulating enough, social enough. And the truth is, I still don’t quite know. There are so many things I want to do, to try, to achieve. And I know in my heart this industry won’t satisfy me forever. And the brutal truth is that there won’t ever be space for me in it, I’m not sure there’s a whole lot of space for anyone. It’s about making space and my God that takes an infinite amount of drive, energy and motivation – some of which, sometimes, I very much lack. So does that make me weak? Should I give up? I’m plagued by these thoughts more often than I like to admit.
And in every other aspect of my life? I still feel like I’m figuring things out, trying to identify what it is that I really want, who I really want to be. There’s an unbearable amount of pressure, now more than ever (perhaps due to the increasing amount of “aspirational” social media content?) to have all your shit figured out by the time your teenage years are over. And guess what? I absolutely don’t, I’ll hold my hands up and say that now. And 99% of my friends don’t either. And why should we? Isn’t life one long journey? There are so many adventures to be had, so many paths to take (and FYI, no single path is “wrong” if it makes you happy) and so many lessons to be learned. I’ve had conversations with people in their 40s and 50s that still don’t know what they’re really doing/feel like they’re winging it/are restless in their lives. WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
I tend to wear pretty much the same jewellery day in, day out; simple, delicate silver pieces with on the odd occasion, a touch of gold. So it’s always refreshing when I’m introduced to a new jewellery brand with unique styles, striking designs and an incorporation of colours that I wouldn’t usually wear. Baltic Beauty uses the amber stone in most designs, with silverwork heavily inspired by the beauty of nature, for example waves of the sea or vines on a tree. Their pieces are beyond striking, with the warm glow of the amber stones and intricate silverwork making for individual, unquestionably beautiful jewellery. The Modern Silver Frame Ring is probably my favourite piece (though sadly it's 'One of a Kind' so I'm afraid that's one design you can't get your hands on), in fact I’ve never received so many compliments on a piece of jewellery before. Usually opting for more understated pieces, I surprised myself with how much I was drawn to it. It’s a true statement design and one that I love wearing when I’m going out for the evening or for a special occasion.
The other pieces like the Amber Apple Pendant and Butterscotch Amber Infinity Bracelet are versatile enough for daytime wear and it’s this range of designs for different occasions and different tastes that makes Baltic Beauty one of my favourite jewellery brands. It’s a real pleasure to introduce you to them and I hope you find something you love amongst their gorgeous amber jewellery just as much as I love all the pieces I’m wearing in this post.
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This is a sponsored post in collaboration with Baltic Beauty.