Yesterday, I turned 20; that ripe old age where you turn your back on your teenage years and realise it’s probably time to get your shit together. It’s the decade that people (supposedly) peak in their profession, get married, have babies and maybe buy a really nice car. But it’s also the decade that people experiment, take risks and “find themselves”. It’s an era of self-discovery and development, of growth and change.
I’ve never been a wild teenager. In fact, I completely skipped out on those few years of partying and violent mood swings (although I’ve been told I was a little hormonal and grumpy at 12). Bar having a boyfriend that was a few years older than me (sorry Dad), I did nothing to rebel or cause trouble. And it’s true that sometimes I feel like I’m obliged to go through that phase. But I just don’t see it happening. People have always estimated my age far beyond my years and even yesterday, a number of people commented that they couldn’t believe I was only 20. So in a strange way, this new chapter feels like a continuation of adulthood that I’m already very much acquainted with (even though I don’t feel much like an adult at all).
So what’s in store? While I’ve heard through that grapevine that classmates from school have had babies and even got engaged, all I can think about is being a little selfish for once. I have so much to learn and so much to achieve, I can’t even begin to think about bringing a little one into the world – or committing to spending the rest of my life with someone. A close friend recently said that I was ‘married to my work’ and I didn’t feel like I could dispute him. I’m extremely ambitious and when I’m not working, I get fidgety and frustrated. Productivity is what makes me feel happy and content. And I know over time that will change but right now, that’s who I am.
I wish I had the ability to poetically convey exactly what I’m thinking, to make sense of the hundreds of unformed ideas and thoughts that are swimming circles in my head just because I’ve turned twenty. I don’t. So instead, I’ll share with you a few of the things that I resolve to do over the course of this decade:
Take risks – because no one ever became successful by playing it safe.
Let my guard down – because if you don’t let people in, they eventually stop trying.
Keep growing – because self-development is a journey and there is so much to learn.
Put happiness first – because it’s the key to living a truly fulfilled life.
Accept failures as learning experiences – because mistakes are what shape us.
How do you feel about turning 20? It means nothing to some and gives a whole new lease of life to others. Share your thoughts with me below!
Love, Beth xo.